normal couple's quiet night in:
cuddling and watching old home movies

alana and "Y"'s quiet night in:
cuddling while watching "Y"'s home movies of him and his ex having sex

Yes, this does sound bizzarr, but when you think about it, this really should be the first step for any couple contemplating having a 3some. (and also, what throughout this whole experience hasnt been bizzarr!?) this all started with "Y"'s friends telling him that i wont be able to handle a 3some and will get jealous. to tell you the truth, this is a possability.....but i highly doubt it.

we were watching normal old home videos of "Y" when he was young and fat (who wasnt when they were young really?) and he came across a video that was quickly put aside with and under the breath "cant watch that one"
"sex video?" i enquire
"yeah...."
"put it on!" i insist
"what!? no. you dont want to see that...."
"you think i'll get jealous?"
"yes"

i suppose most girls wouldnt want to see their boyfriend nailing another chick from behind while shes yelling "harder! faster!". but im not most girls.

he put the tape in after a lot of pleading on my part, and there he was, on tv, givin' it to his ex girlfriend like he was ron jeremy in his prime, while she squeeled like a piglet being ripped away from its mother tit. my first thought was:
"so thats what you look like when you fuck me doggie style!"

very interesting indeed. i wasnt turned on by it, but i wasnt offended either. i strangely enjoyed it. i was most amazed at the thought and time he had put into this thing. hes a natural filmmaker! i was proud. yes, proud of my boyfriends sex video with another girl.

after a few different positions, and him pointing out how big his dick is (thanks sweety, i never noticed...) we turned off the tape. mission complete; no jealousy! and now when hes fucking me from behind im not just staring at the wall....im actually picturing him doing it.

we crossed through the dark windows, over the threshold of "sweet and innocen"t into a dirty world we only dreamed of.......

except that it was just like walking into any other bar, on a very quiet night. there were a few people playing pool, and a few couples at the bar talking. all of the people were about 10 to 20 years older than us, overweight and not attractive. not our scene at all, but at least we crossed the line and knew what to expect...since we were going back the next night for the 33rd anniversary of the club. and hey, it was a 2 for 1 weekend so we really had nothing to loose going to the dull friday night party.

we payed our money for the weekend, talked to the owner and left. not exactly what i expected for our first night as a "swinging couple"

we went back the next night and to our suprise, the parking lot was PACKED. we didnt hesitate at all on our way in and both seemed quite excited with yesterday far behind us.

as we walked in the door we could instantly feel one couples eyes on us, checking us out. very intense feeling! they came over to us right away and introduced themselves. extremely friendly couple and we talked to them throughout the night. we ended up getting their email address, but i dont think we will ever use it.

after chatting to a few couples and feeling quite comfortable, we decided to take a look around. we practiced some of our salsa moves on the dance floor and took in the atmosphere around us. "Y" pointed out a cute girl that was involved in a deep conversation with her partner and another couple. after dancing some more we decided to walk around again. as we walked by the cute girl he pointed out earlier, we noticed that the man she was chatting to had his hand up her skirt... no wonder the conversation seemed so intense! we stood about 2 feet away from them, watching it all happen. its so hot to watch people get it on in the middle of a bar! after some time we were watching as the girl sat on the table facing the man with her legs spread open for all to see. he played with her clit as she arched her back toward the man behind her who was kissing her and playing with her nipples. another woman was giving the first man head, all of this 2 feet from our face…in the middle of a bar, with people dancing and mingling all around. "Y" held me close and slowly caressed me as we both enjoyed the show.

this was one of the strangest and best experiences of my life and i know not many people out there can say they have seen the same thing. i recommend a night at a swingers club to everyone

typical couples weekend getaway:
rent a car
drive to the country
have a picnic
cuddle while watching the stars

alana and "Y"s weekend getaway:
rent a car
drive to brampton
go to a swinger's club
cuddle while watching 2 couples going at it in the bar

so we decided it would be fun to check out a swingers club. yeah, we're not your typical couple.

i wasnt fond of the idea at first, knowing that swinging is basically switching partners, but "Y" thought that we might be able to “borrow” someones wife for our third. i half heartedly agreed to go, still a little uneasy about the whole thing. after a good talk with "Y" i decided that it would be very interesting to see what it is all about and hey, how many people can say that they've been to a swingers club anyway!? i can....

we rented a car and drove to brampton on friday to check out club eros. (we researched a few clubs but this one seemed the most legit) fridays are cocktail party nights and supposedly good nights for "newbies" since it is a quieter and less overwhelming experience. i highly disagree.

we pulled our car along side the 5 lonely cars infront of the "restaraunt" with the blacked out windows and a sign in the door that read "closed for private party." we sat in the parking lot with the car idling, ready for a quick getaway if needed, like so many swingin' couples before us. 5 cars!? that would mean that theres only 10 people in there! we sat and contemplated in silence about what we each though was behind those dark windows.

i pictured us walking in and everything would freeze. like in a cheesy western film when the guy on the front of the "wanted" poster swings open the doors to the saloon. the music would stop. any thrusting, sucking or gang-banging would stop. everything would be still except for a drop of cum that splatters on the ground from somewhere in the mass orgie. everyone would slowly turn around to check out the new couple. we would feel their eyes undressing us and sense their desire to grab us, pull us into their dirty little world.

"lets not go in" we think in unison and quickly drive away.

a stop sign down the street idles us again.

we hesitate longer than normal at the stop sign, especially since it was night with no one else around to yeild to. a glance at each other and we make a u-turn back to the club with its dark windows tickling our curiosity until we could no longer take it.

whats life without a little adventure anyway.....

Y: what about our waitress, do you think she's hot?
me: yeah, she's pretty hot
Y: why dont you leave her your number on the bill?
me: i couldnt do that, we come here all the time! what if she's our waitress next time?
Y: so what? cummon, are you really that much of a pussy?
me: yes

we talked to our first girl!!!

we now have two separate postings on lavalife looking for a 3rd. mine is short and to the point. "Y"s shows our funny outgoing side. he got a smile today, we exchanged pics (she said i was stunning. god bless her!)
she is a chubby girl. not exactly what i am looking for (and i dont think "Y" is either) but it was an interesting experience.
i went online and "Y" messaged me..."i just went onto lavalife and a girl smiled at me! im talking to her right now!" i chatted to her a bit but she seemed a little to fake...like she was trying really hard to be "sexy." i think i would enjoy a woman that felt sexy in her own skin, not one that was pretending she did.
we talked about it and decided she wasnt for us, but we both enjoyed talking to a girl that liked us both. i am so glad that i decided to tell him and have him help me in the process!
on another note, we are going to a swing club this weekend. im not as excited or eagar for this as i had expected. im actually quite anxious/nervous.

May 2005


i told him
so after many days of "Y" whining that he didn't get his birthday present and complaining that i say that i am willing to try anything but yet im still not open to a threesome, i decided to tell him what i was getting him.
we obviously dont know each other that well yet since he was shocked when i told him and never thought that i would get him that. i cant think of anything else i would want to get him! i dont think he believed me at first because i didnt want to take him online to see my posting, but after i did show him and he saw all the people i had been in contact with, he was amazed and really excited.
not exactly how i wanted to reveal this to him. in my head i wanted to have him meet me at a bar and when he arrives, she is there with me. we could spend the whole night dancing and chatting until we could not take the sexual energy any longer and go back to his place and rip eachothers clothes off. or i take him out for a night and have her at his apartment when we get home, waiting for us to do whatever we want with her. but i think this will be a lot of fun searching together. and its cute to see that, he is being very carful and respectful with it. he wants us to sit down and get all the "rules" straight. anything i dont feel comfortable with, he wants to know. we are also thinking of going to a swingers club just to see what it is like and he wants signals and everything in case i get uncomfortable at any point. very sweet and reasuring
anyway, i have a feeling that im going to enjoy this adventure with him involved a lot more thatn when i was searching alone.

you stradle me and pin me down
i wrap my legs around you
pull you close to me
'till you're deep inside me
i want to keep you there, but you pull out
slowly,
hesitating,
teasing.
you thrust back into me
its warm
its wet
its raw
i gasp and draw you in with every breath pant and moan
"i want you to cum for me" you groan
as you plunge back into me
here, now, forever
i cant imagine cumming for anyone else

(this blog is also going to be used as a creative output of some of my relevant poetry....)

i went to a screening of a short film the other day with my roommate. the film was very wordy and not very visually interesting, but that’s not the point of this entry.
there was free food, free wine people were all dressed up, what a good place to try to pick up! we were surveying the room analyzing women. this one's too skinny. this one's kinda trashy. quite fun actually. i have always dreamed of having a gay guy friend that i could go pick up men with. i guess this is sort of a similar situation, just a little backwards!
so we both agreed on one girl at this party. i now know that if i was a lesbian i would be very attracted to the spanish/latin girls. she was beautiful. very sweet and kind looking with a sparkle of saucy deep in her eyes. for some reason i don’t think i would have been jealous of her with "Y" even though she was very attractive. she would be perfect. but now a new problem arises and i start to get sweaty and nervous. she’s perfect, yes, but how do i pick her up!? i can flirt with a man no problem, but will the same tactics work on a woman as a man? no way! with men all you need to peak interest is a hand placed on the thigh raising the skirt a little bit, one extra button undone on the shirt and longer than normal eye contact with a slight eyebrow raise at the end. will this work on her? i know it would not work on me...i'm looking at what girls are wearing, their style, their hair. i probably wouldn’t have even noticed if a girl was looking back at me since i’m always too busy judging her!
i try some eye contact. the first time i catch her eye, she holds it for quite a while. it sends an excited tingle through my body. a few more long glances and my roommate is trying to convince me to go talk to her. how do i know she’s not looking at me wondering why this freaky girl is staring at her!? he tells me i have to get her alone. follow her to the bathroom, catch her while she’s getting wine. as if following a script we have written for her, my girl steps away from the group she is chatting with to the food table. by herself. i freeze. how do men handle this? i watch her pick up a few items and slip back into the crowd. hesitation is the lonely mans drug.
there were a few other moments where she squeezed by me and i placed a soft hand on her waist to help her by and gave a shy smile as she looked into my eyes and i looked nervously away.
when we left for the evening i gave one last look in her direction hoping that i would catch her eye again. that she would put down her drink and follow me out. that she would grab me and whisper in my ear "your search is over" and all my inhibitions would disappear with just one small kiss.
she didn’t notice me leave.

April 2005

sigh
no responses from any girls on lava. i did get talking to a couple that wanted me as a third though!! never expected that. they too were looking for a girl, but neither of us contemplated introducing another couple into the picture. this could be fun.
I still would like just a girl for the birthday present though so the search continues. i seem to be fine tuning the art of thinking like a man. when im in public i find myself checking out men as usual, but if i see a pretty girl i give her a second glance also. im looking at the girls more, but still with a bias feminine eye. there was one girl that i thought was gorgeous. tall and not too thin, but i disregarded her because i didnt like the shoes she was wearing. typical woman i am!
on another note, the fucking on the boss's desk did take place the other day. i recomend it to everyone. "Y" came to my work to drop off something for me and there were still people around the office. he had to get to work shortly, but he hung out while i worked a little bit, while he constantly distracted me by reaching up my skirt. finally everyone left for the day. and i got bent over the boss's desk with the afternoon light reflecting off my bare white ass.
i have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning in that very office. i wonder if hes going to find any butt prints on his papers?

the search continues...

i really have no idea how to go about this. i've never had to "pick up" a woman, nor have i ever fathomed the thought of ever having to do it! i decided to put a posting up on lavalife in the "intimate encounters" section. i have listings in the dating and relationship areas also (under a different name than the seeking woman one!) and actually met "Y" online. seems fitting to find the third on there also. (welcome to the 21st century)

i have to put together a plan on what i want in a third. do i want her to be crazy and dirty? shy and sensitive? how would i feel with someone who is thinner, more fit, or prettier than me? what if he is more attracted to her? what if they connect? what if she can dance? do i sabotage the whole thing and get a hideous beast so i can feel better about myself??

humans are funny animals. i consider myself fairly self aware and confident. i have decided to bring another woman into the picture for one night and i turn into a jealous self conscious toad.

i wonder if anyone will respond to my posting on lava....

march 2005

The Art Of Being Dirty

being dirty can be an art form as creative and detailed as any other art form; from drawing and painting to writing or theatre. this is a story about me and the dirty “work of art” I am currently creating.

when you are younger, being dirty consists of touching little jonny’s “naughty parts” under the stairs of the basement while your and jonny’s mothers are upstairs innocently discussing which beans best compliment each other for a 3 bean salad. as you get older, however, the ideas of dirty spread into having “fuck friends,” sex in public places and the introduction of video recording devices to keep your sex routines fresh and exciting.

i have been though a slump lately of dating people who are boring and predictable in bed, to not dating at all. i started to forget the thrill of a secret hand down the pants on a crowded subway, or the feeling of being fucked up against the back of a church on sunday. (now, if you have been offended by anything written this far, I highly advise against reading any further)

but recently i started dating a boy (i’ll call him “Y” for anonymity) who has removed the thick clog of boredom from my dating world and gotten the dirty juices once again flowing through the floodgates of my sex life. here is an example of one of our msn conversations not too long ago:

me: hell, I could take the whole week off of work....but then I would be screwed
Y: I though you like being screwed?
me: heh...i do, i do! but not at work...well,..actually...HEY do you want to come to my work next week and fuck on my boss’s desk!?!?!?
Y: ok

just like an artist, who is always looking for new challenges and more difficult pieces to create, being dirty calls for a certain creativity all its own. Y’s birthday is coming up at the end of the month. he once mentioned to me that he could really use a new wok for cooking. that would be a fine birthday present. wrapped up in a box and a bow with a pretty little card that tells him how happy I am that I’ve met him. he would kiss me and tell me he loves it. then a year down the road the wok will start to warp, the handle will come loose and it will end up in a garbage grave with all the other “fine” birthday presents of the past.

he also once told me that his fantasy, since her was twelve, was to have a threesome with 2 women.

which do you think I chose for his birthday present?

happy birthday babe.

here I am. so many stories and not enough room to store them in my head anymore. i feel it is nesisary to start from the beginning even though that goes back a year. for those of you that are aware of my story already...try not to spoil it for the rest of them.