"hey alana its jbob. listen, we wanted to take you guys out for dinner tonight....around 8ish? im at work until 7, but give A a call and work something out with her. talk to you later beautiful."

i call A after work and we decide to try out an ethiopian restaurant that none of us have been to before. "ok, so the driver is coming to pick us up at 7, so we will pick you guys up at around 7:30. i'll call when we are almost at your place."

the driver!? looks like we picked ourselves a good couple to become friends with. a girl could get used to this treatment!

we arrived at the restaurant at 7:50 since Y got off work early. A & J were not there.

"are you looking for someone?" the bartender asks us

"yeah. a couple...blonde girl, darker man..."

"oh, bob and his wife! yeah, they were in here a while ago. they left but i think they said they would be back..."

"bob? no, we are looking for J" i respond to the bartender then turn to Y "maybe he goes by bob too?"

we sit and wait for a while. then call A's cell and wait a little longer. just as we were thinking of leaving A calls to say that they are on their way...just had to drop in on a dog they were dog-sitting for. another "being stood up" crisis averted!

we meet them outside, kisses all around and head in to the restaurant. the bartender smiled at us with a little confusion in her eyes.

sitting at the table looking over the menu, Y brings up the false identity.

"so your real name is bob?"

J gets frigid and glares over his menu "who told you that?"

"well, the bartender..." J cuts Y off "the bartender told you?" he puts down his menu and starts looking around for her

i jump in not wanting him to yell at her or anything, even though i dont think that he would "no, J, we came in here expecting you to be here and were looking for you. she asked us who we were looking for so we described you and she referred to you as bob. we told her we were looking for J, but kind of put two and two together."

"you told her that my name was J? great, now shes going to know im a swinger" his paranoia disappears as quickly as it came and he casually continues, "yeah, i go by J in the swinger world. you have to have two identities, keep the worlds separate. i dont want most of the swingers to know who i really am until i get to know them."

"so what do we call you then?"

"it doesnt really matter. you guys should get fake names too. really. you're young now and might not care who knows, but in the future this could restrict you in your career or whatever. like think about if you are up for a CEO position and it leaks that you are a swinger! no one would hire you in a position of authority if that got out."

" i dont think i will ever be, or want to be a CEO of anything." i shrug

"you say that now, but you never really know. you dont want it to come back on you"

i see his point, but i have never really been one to care about things like that. if i didnt get a job because i was a swinger, then i would get another job. most of my friends know that im in this lifestyle and a few even read this blog on a daily basis. hell, my sister even reads this. (hi sister!) the only reason i keep it anonymous is to respect the privacy of the people im writing about. they didnt ask to be here.

but i nod and agree that we could come up with pseudo names.

more random chit-chat takes place and then the topic of 'us' comes up.

"so yeah, we really like you guys." J/bob says. "A thinks Y is gorgeous, and we both love alana. ive been calling A, alana in bed the past few days"

that was a little creepily complimentary. i kinda liked it.

after we tell them that we like them too the conversation flows to something else and we continue to talk all through our dinner.

I was thinking that this meant that they wanted to take this further by playing with us, and was kind of expecting an invite back to their place after the dinner, but as we left the restaurant J/bob kisses me and says we should do it again sometime. we all kiss goodbye and head in our separate ways.

Y and i got the feeling that it was turning to more of a plutonic friendship instead of hot and steamy love affair.

When we got into it i expected everything to be about the sex and we wouldnt really get to know each of the people we were with. im not sure why but thats just the picture i had in my head of swingers. meet someone, chat a little, have sex. but with A & J/bob we were really getting to know them. sex between us didnt actually come up that often.

maybe this is the way that swinging works?

approval

message on my machine a few days after our meeting with A & J:

"hey guys its J calling. A & i had a good time with you guys the other day. we are going out for dinner at a restaurant down the street from you guys tonight, so if you want to join us, give me a call. we will be there around 7:00. talk soon."

i guess we fit into the "selective few" that they consider swinging with!

Me calling J back:

"hey J, its alana."

"oh hey...which alana? "

"alana from, uh, alana and Y....you know a lot of alanas?"

"yeah i know a few, but dont worry, you are the best looking. so you guys want to come out for dinner tonight?"

"Y is working till 8 so if you think you will still be there after that, we will drop by."

"sure we will be there at 8, but im not guaranteeing that i wont be extremely inebriated by that point"

"hahaha...we will see you at 8 then..."